I'm questioning if I should have drunk that formula now

Dec 3rd 2008

Storm is brewing, both outside and inside me, and better type now and record it before it hits.

It was the third day Doc hadn't come to work. No response to calls or emails, no word at all. One minute he's talking about making a breakthrough, and the next... gone.

Nobody questioned a shy little secretary going into his lab, most of the building staff know Doc and I have a... "relationship". I guess most assume we're going out, but we aren't. Doc is far too shy, and while I've dated before, I'm still "sore" from... things best left unsaid for now. That said, I guess I do feel comfortable with Doc, but part of it is a shared interested. Doc may be producing it for the military, but we both interested in a formula that strengths and enhances the human form. Especially the enhance part.

Doc is, to put it kindly a nerd, and I'm a pair of glasses away from being one too. I know people will say I'm deluded, but I secretly wish I was the kind of porn star shaped goddess men lust after, that I find attractive in a way, that I got left for-

Sorry, I'll focus. The lab was empty and quiet save for the background noise of Doc's various computers and chemical stations. No apparent sign of foul play, no clue to where he'd gone. But one possible clue to why, and one which drew my attention like a magnet: a large chemical flask filled with a thick rich neon green liquid, still bubbling at three days. The flask sat dangerously near the edge of the counter, which made me wonder if indeed the normally careful and considered Doc was scared or in a hurry. I stared at the sick thick green ooze, eyes going wide as it bubbled.

That... was it.

This was the breakthrough, Doc had cracked it. He mentioned he was so close that I knew that it was ready and my slim chance of using it had occurred. It seemed unlikely that if Doc got the go ahead for human testing that I'd be selected, and I wasn't the type to steal it, but this opportunity has presented itself and I had my chance. My poor little heart pounded as I kept looking left and right in case somebody came in, as I grabbed the flask and gingerly lifted it to my lips. I hesitated guiltily, closed my eyes and drank and drank.

To say it tasted foul would be the understatement of the century.

It took an almost superhuman effort to not gag or vomit the formula up, but I sat on my hand and knees for long minutes as my stomach violently fought the goop and waited for it to begin just like Doc claimed it would. But nothing happened and after 10 minutes I felt stupid being on all fours, so I cursed and went back to my desk. Mindless work caused my day to blur, but I kept cursing my stupid belief in a magic formula to make me into some wet dream fantasy.

Yet ever since I came home I've felt.... not quite right. One second I'm fine, the next... my vision blurs for a second and I feel woozy. I'm barely able to stand upright and my thoughts get so muddled. Then I'm fine for some random amount of time, before it strikes worse and worse. I was starving, but even my stomach flip-flopped between accepting and rejecting food. I've now realized something is happening and don't know if I should have drunk that formula.

Its taken me far too long to type this out given my job entails a lot of typing, but getting so hard to focus and I don't know how much longer I can keep going. My clothes feel too tight in places, irritatingly itchy, and my bra and panties just feel too tight in general. Now my skin feels to tight for my body, my skeleton feels to tight for my flesh, my teeth feel too big for my mouth, my brain feels too tight for my skull. I feel hot, far too hot and I don't think its the muggy weather, and its getting harder to keep typing. My hands hurt and my head aches and I'm so confused and scared that I've done something terrible and now my heart feels like its about to explode and body feels on fire and I-

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