Entry for January 19, 2009

Dammit, now matter how much I sleep, no matter how much I eat, I'm constantly tired and starving. I barely get home and I'm about ready to keel over. Its only on the weekend I seem to be "catching my breath" so to speak. Is work taking that much out of me? I was hungry and tired when I was on leave, when I was changing, where now I'm just going to work and not changing (as far as I am aware, which could mean I am change, and much more often perhaps...)

At any rate, work is slowly getting back to normal after our... green skinned visitor. It was all
the bimbos could talk about, for a day. Then back to the same old, same old. I'm actually kind of glad, after the paranoia racked first day back. Walking down those hallways was disconcerting, everything felt... well... wrong... like the roof was too high and I felt very small and very open to being captured. My eyes went wide when I saw the hole diagonally through the corner, it was closer to my eye level now. Doc's lab had been trashed, far more than I recalled. The police and the MiB's were poring over it, and took my wide eyed fear to be concern that my place of employment had been broken into, not that I(kinda) was the one who did it.

That was because they knew who broke in, they had video evidence of who broken in.

After my/her big show of smashing all the cameras in the building, we forgot one. One very important one, the one in the lab. This was of course the second time I missed it, the first being one I drank the formula. Lucikly that time "fixed" it so it just replayed the same empty lab, but this time they had me... well... her dead to rights.

The delightful Jennifer (who quite happily spoke about me and Doc to strange men while I was on leave) is presently involved with one of the security guards who was off that night, but who gave her access to the video from the camera. A little cajoling from me and the other bimbos let us see it, and thankfully she didn't realize that I'm smart enough to hit "Save as" before "Open File" when she emailed it to us, for my...uh... "scrapbook"?

All the other news clips had been relatively brief and blurry, this was fairly clear and distinct. Lights were off so not perfect and no sound, but you can see pretty much everything. Admittedly if my top had let go you could see even more... Well, you get the idea. Watching her almost "chat" with some unseen voice in her head was disconcerting when it was me. The bimbos misinterupted my interest in the video when I made the mistake of hitting play again within range of them. I turned bright red when Jennifer joked to the other girls in the office that I secretly wished I looked like that, though not for the reasons she assumed caused me to blush and eyes to go wide with fear.

Moving on from that... Doc has responded to my emails and knows I've got his stuff. He's... "busy" as he puts it, trying to avoid those tracking him, but assures me that he will come back to see me eventually. I'm... a little disappointed by that, I'll admit. Since...since I drank the formula.. I've.. been... "tenser" than normal. I was hoping that Doc would... Uh, well... I'd normally... "self-medicate", but it... do..doesn't seem to be helping break the "tension" any more than induce her to emerge.

Is...is she... holding back the change along with keeping up the "tension"? I keep getting... I guess... an impression... that I should go out on the weekend. Last weekend I was just so wrecked that I could barely do the grocery shopping, let along go out for a drink, but this weekend... I wonder if I'll be so needy that I'll throw myself at a guy... and that perhaps is what she wants...

Ah-no, no, no. Ignore that, scratch that. Don't like where that is going. Go to sleep Kat, clearly you need more sleep. Yes, sleep.